On Bitterness and On Letting Go
Monday, May 30th, 2005Bitterness… Imagine the look on
your face when eating something bitter. Imagine that you can’t let go of that
look for quite a while. Ugly, isn’t it? Little do we realize that’s the same
case whenever we tend to become emotionally bitter. We are consumed by that
feeling of angst and become ugly deep inside.
When we are bitter, we hold on to
whatever memory or experience that wounds us. After we are wounded by someone
else with a small cut from a knife, we grab the knife and we thrust it into
ourselves going deeper and deeper with each stab. Someone else may have hurt
us, but with being bitter, we magnify the pain tenfold.
There are those who live on each
day, acknowledging their bitterness, but do nothing about it. They rant about
their feelings 24/7 to whoever would listen. Sometimes, even our most patient
friends get sick and tired of us. They linger on the past and do things like
listen to sappy music and watch sappy movies. All they do is add fuel to the
fire that consumes them.
Then there are those who live in
constant denial. These people live on each day with a façade that they’re doing
great. Some pull this off well and become sad faces hidden in a smiling mask,
while others cannot and end up being sad faced clowns. But either way, at the
end of each day when no ones around, it hits you like a speeding bus. What you
run away from all day catches up with you. All that spent energy wasted on that
futile attempt to escape reality.
There are also those who cannot
handle things and tend to self-destruct. They let go of all hope and end up
destroying their lives. These people focus so much on their bitterness that all
positive things in their lives become a blur to them and even sometimes totally
nonexistent.
And of course, there are those
who try to heal themselves from the grip of that bitter feeling. Most of them
may have been one of those earlier mentioned kinds of bitter people before they
have come to the realization that they have to let go and heal.
Me, I would like to think that I’m
with the latter group. I’ve awakened from a constant state of bitterness that
has been going on for way too long now. I’m learning how live on with my head
up high.
It isn’t easy but I’m going at it
one step at a time. LETTING GO and MOVING ON… on a slow but steady pace…
Look around you. Life is
beautiful. Stop focusing on the black spot on the white wall.
All this I know a can do with the
help of my friends… Thanks… I love you guys…
CARPE DIEM… Seize the day…
