Jason

Got this from my cousin’s blog… I think its worth sharing…

Its been more that a year since my last climb! I badly miss the natural high of being up on a mountain!

Its so funny that during every climb, I’d curse myself while going uphill!!! Climbing would have been so much easier if I didn’t always have that HUGE pack strapped on my back! The small guys and the girls are soooo lucky that they just end up with "jetpacks" (small bags!)

Back in highschool, I would have never imagined that I’d love the mountains. My passion for the outdoors came out thanks to a short hike up the mud springs of Mt. Makiling with my dormates when i was still studying in UPLB. I then joined the UP Badgers’ Club, a civic-outdoor org and with them I had my first real climb up on Mt. Makulot.

I will never forget that climb! The supposedly easy climb ended up to be one of my most eventful! We missed the usual trail up the campsite and we tried looking for another way. Me and my party almost had an accident which would have left us badly injured or worse… dead! Imagine that for my first climb?! Anyway, we backtracked to the right trail and the dark reached us before we could get to the campsite… A newbie climber going night trekking! san ka?!

That night, up on Makulot, when everyone was asleep in their tents… I immortalized that moment in my mind… I got out of my tent, I embraced the cold <REALLY COLD> night wind, with only a long sleeved shirt and a windbreaker to keep me somewhat warm. I looked around… the night lights of batangas city on one side and the few specks of lights on the other side which were most probably fishing boats on the calm waters. and the STARS!!! The stars are sooooo much brighter up high! It seemed to me that I could reach out and grab them… From that moment on… I knew what was my heaven… UP THERE!!!

The group I joined wasnt solely focused on mountaineering so we rarely had climbs. I went along with the UP Mountaineers on some of their climbs… I also tagged along Ayuk’s (Sir Ilana) outdoor rec class…

Now in Dasma, I’m itching to climb again! well, I got in touch with the mountaineering group there. Recruitment starts next week and I’m really considering it!

I always listen to the song "HIGHER" before a climb…

When dreaming I’m guided through another world
Time and time again
At sunrise I fight to stay asleep
‘Cause I don’t want to leave the comfort of this place
‘Cause there’s a hunger, a longing to escape
From the life I live when I’m awake

So let’s go there
Let’s make our escape
Come on, let’s go there
Let’s ask can we stay?
Can you take me higher?
To the place where blind men see
Can you take me higher?
To the place with golden streets

Although I would like the world to change
It helps me to appreciate
Those night and those dreams
But, my friend, I’d sacrifice all those nights
If I could make the Earth and my dreams the same
The only difference is
To let love replace all our hate

So let’s go there
Let’s make our escape
Come on, let’s go there
Let’s ask can we stay?
Can you take me higher?
To the place where blind men see
Can you take me higher?
To the place with golden streets

So let’s go there
And let’s go there
Come on, let’s go there
Let’s ask can we stay?

Up high, I feel like I’m alive for the very first time
So high, I’m strong enough to take these dreams
And make them mine

So high, I’m strong enough to take these dreams
And make them mine

Can you take me higher?
To the place where blind men see
Can you take me higher?
To the place with golden streets

Up high, I feel like I’m alive for the very first time
So high, I’m strong enough to take these dreams and make them mine…

It has been
quite a while since my last relationship. I stopped long ago counting how long
it has been. I’ve been through all the
bitterness and angst of the break-up and I’ve healed. I’m past all the boo-hoos
and the sleepless nights.

 I’ve been in a
relationship for so long and I guess it made me fear the loneliness of being
“unhooked.” I was so caught up with the thought that I was “alone” not
realizing that I turned completely bitter, pathetic, and even desperate.

 The change I owe
so much to my friends. They stood by me all the way. They made me realize I’ll
never be alone. I’ve got friends in close proximity and some miles and others
even oceans away but near or far, they were always with me. Thanks to them, I’m
back to living life to the fullest.

  “CARPE
DIEM!” Seize the day… I live life one day at a time once more, appreciating
whatever crosses my way and grabbing whatever opportunity that drops by. Same
thing goes with relationships. I’m not in any commitment right now. I’m in no
big hurry to jump into another one. I’ve contented myself going out meeting new
people, going on friendly dates, and sometimes on little more than friendly
ones.

  We
go through life being with different people. We enter relationships and commitments
with so many “wrong ones” but that should not stop us. One day the “right one”
will come knocking at our doors and thanks to all those “wrong ones,” we have
become (hopefully) a better person for our “right one.” So, I say this, just
enjoy your time with all the “wrong ones!” Another thought, who knows, maybe
the “wrong one” would even end up to be the “right one.”

Si ako

Name: Jason
– Birthdate: june 28, 1983
– Birthplace: makati
– Current Loc.: las pinas
– Eye Color: Dark Brown
– Hair Color: Dark Brown
– Righty or Lefty: righty
– Innie or Outtie: huh?! (if this is green… well… im an outtie!)

// series two - describe

– Your heritage:filipino/spanish/chinese
– The shoes you wore today: my black leathers
– Your hair: semi-kalbo
– Your eyes: need glasses! hahahaha!
– Your weakness: sweetness and mushiness
– Your Fav Food: STEAKS! and jap food
– One thing you’d like to achive: climb everest! (dare to dream!)

// series three - what i

– Your most overused phrase on ym .. oist!
– Your thoughts first waking up: first day funk! nyahahaha!
– The first feature you notice in the opposite sex: eyes
– Your best physical feature: hmmm… i’ll leave that to you
– Your bedtime: usually between 12am-5am
– Your greatest fear: being alone
– Your greatest accomplishment: volunteer works that i have done
– Your most missed memory: times spent with dear friends

// series four - you prefer

– Pepsi or coke: coke
– McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonalds ….
– Single or group dates: single… more intimate…
– Adidas or nike: adidas
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: nestea
– Chocolate or vanilla: vanilla
– Cappuccino or coffee: coffee
– Boxers or briefs: boxers

// series five - do you

– Smoke: nope
– Take a shower everyday: of course!
– Have a crush(es): lots!
– who are they: theres too many of them but most are chinitas
– Do you think you’ve been in love: yeah
– Want to go to college: wanna graduate!!!
– Like high school: yeah… some of the best years of my life
– Want to get married: someday
—type with your fingers on the right keys: nope
– Believe in yourself: yeah!
– Get motion sickness: nope
– Think you’re attractive: i hope so… hahahaha!
– Think you’re a health freak: not really
– Get along with your parents: usually
– Play an instrument: nope… its my frustration

// series six - in the past month, did/have you

– Drink alcohol: yeah
— Made Out: ahehehehe….
– Go on a date: yup!
– Go to the mall?: yeah
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos: nope
– Eaten sushi: yes… homemade!
– Been on stage: not recently
– Been dumped: dumped isnt the word… broke off is much more like it
–Gone skating: ice skating

– Made homemade cookies: nope
– Been in love; recently? I dunno…
– Gone skinny dipping: last time was years back
– Dyed your hair: nothing to dye
– Stolen anything: kisses… =)

// series seven - have you ever

– Played a game that required removal of clothing?: hahaha! laro ng apoy!
–Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yeah… picture me drinking a whole bottle of chivas alone!
–Been caught "doing something": not in the act… but was quite obvious… hahahahaha! those were the days!
– Been called a tease: i am a tease
– Gotten beaten up: no
– Shoplifted: nope
– If so, did you get caught: nope
– Changed who you were to fit in: slight… im with a group a lot younger than me

// series eight - the future

– Age you hope to be married: around my early 30s
– Numbers and Names of Children: 2, if its a girl, audrey jade
– Describe your Dream Wedding: somewhere outdoor and up high
– How do you want to die: sleeping or while saving someones life
– Where you want to go to college: im at DLSU-D now… but i wanna go back to UP… maybe for my masters
– What do you want to be when you grow up: a PR exec
– What country would you most like to visit: northern europe

// series nine - opposite sex (or same sex, if that’s your cup of tea)

– Best eye color: doesnt matter… as long as they’re expressive
– Best hair color? shiny black
– Short or long hair?: long straight
.– Best height: as long as shes smaller than me… i usually like petite girls
– Best weight: healthy weight… not too thin, not too fat
– Best articles of clothing: undies! nyahahaha!
– Best first date location: candlelit dinner… wine under the canopy of the stars
– Best first kiss location: no place in particular

// series ten - number of

– Number of girls kissed: uhhmm… a few…
– Number of boys kissed: family members only
– Number of drugs taken illegally: none
– Number of people I could trust with my life: lots!
– Number of CDs that I own: A LOT!!!
– Number of piercings: none
– Number of tattoos: none
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: never, but my pic was… it was a group pic during a red cross awarding
- Number of scars on my body: one
- Number of things in my past that I regret: none

boo hoo! Damn this friggin fever!!! Only got less than two weeks of vacation left and im wasting my time here at home!!! My eyes hurt from all the tv shows and movie marathons… My back is killing me for all the lying down!

I know im a homebody and I love being a couch potato… but not every damned day!!! I badly need to get out and have some fresh air!!! or pulluted even! it doesnt matter as long as I can haul my ass out from here!!!

I miss going out with my friends! I’ll see you soon…

Hopefully, tomorrow mawnin, after I return from lala land tonight, I’d be feeling  much better…

Bitterness… Imagine the look on
your face when eating something bitter. Imagine that you can’t let go of that
look for quite a while. Ugly, isn’t it? Little do we realize that’s the same
case whenever we tend to become emotionally bitter. We are consumed by that
feeling of angst and become ugly deep inside.

When we are bitter, we hold on to
whatever memory or experience that wounds us. After we are wounded by someone
else with a small cut from a knife, we grab the knife and we thrust it into
ourselves going deeper and deeper with each stab. Someone else may have hurt
us, but with being bitter, we magnify the pain tenfold.

There are those who live on each
day, acknowledging their bitterness, but do nothing about it. They rant about
their feelings 24/7 to whoever would listen. Sometimes, even our most patient
friends get sick and tired of us. They linger on the past and do things like
listen to sappy music and watch sappy movies. All they do is add fuel to the
fire that consumes them.

Then there are those who live in
constant denial. These people live on each day with a façade that they’re doing
great. Some pull this off well and become sad faces hidden in a smiling mask,
while others cannot and end up being sad faced clowns. But either way, at the
end of each day when no ones around, it hits you like a speeding bus. What you
run away from all day catches up with you. All that spent energy wasted on that
futile attempt to escape reality.

There are also those who cannot
handle things and tend to self-destruct. They let go of all hope and end up
destroying their lives. These people focus so much on their bitterness that all
positive things in their lives become a blur to them and even sometimes totally
nonexistent.

And of course, there are those
who try to heal themselves from the grip of that bitter feeling. Most of them
may have been one of those earlier mentioned kinds of bitter people before they
have come to the realization that they have to let go and heal.

Me, I would like to think that I’m
with the latter group. I’ve awakened from a constant state of bitterness that
has been going on for way too long now. I’m learning how live on with my head
up high.

It isn’t easy but I’m going at it
one step at a time. LETTING GO and MOVING ON… on a slow but steady pace…

Look around you. Life is
beautiful. Stop focusing on the black spot on the white wall.

All this I know a can do with the
help of my friends… Thanks… I love you guys…

CARPE DIEM… Seize the day…

I’ve finally awaken from this deep slumber ive been living in… well, it was more of a nightmare… I’ve been in a constant state of misery for quite a while… a self-imposed state of misery…

well, im up… still a little bit cranky but a trip to the bathroom for a cold shower of reality would do wonders…

im alive… and theres so much to live for… i just have to go out and find it…

CARPE DIEM…